even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
