Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
