i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
