East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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