I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
