Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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