Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
