where am i from again
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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