Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
