Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
