She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
