Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
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