Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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