I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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