After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
