I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
