well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
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