I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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