My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
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