I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
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