he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
