He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
