everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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