I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
