Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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