I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
