Sponge bath it is.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
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I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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