This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
