she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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