my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
