there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize
