it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize