he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
