remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
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