you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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