ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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