You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize