He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Randomize
