I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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