He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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