maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
