Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
