I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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