dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
