His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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