You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
so much tequila, so little girl.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
