Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
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