So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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