I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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