when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
