so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
