he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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