I'm drive I can fine osifer
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
