I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
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i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
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