Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
