eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
did i just pee glitter
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
