You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
