she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
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