Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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