look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
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