She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize
