Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
