Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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