Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
