I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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