He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
